An anxious Tuesday Morning

I'm trying to get my thoughts together so I can ask the "right" questions this morning. If only I knew there were right things to ask to get the right end results. I know that the bigger goal is having a long life but I am sad right now about my boobs. I don't know what the surgery will leave me with, what reconstruction can do, how satisfying that will be and how I'll deal. I'm thinking about me looking at myself getting in & out of the shower every day. Am I going to face big ugly scars? Most likely. And I guess I'll gain some more perspective, but man, haven't I been asked to endure enough? I know - I'm whining. I was able to come up with a top 5 last week and this week I feel more like "Isn't it ironic?" playing through my head and screaming along with Alanis Morisette.

I'll get through the appointment and I'll let you all know what happens. I know I have you and so many other friends strength to pull from. Thank God for that. I need it. I think the perception is that I am strong enough, but today I just want my mom - I wish it was a boo boo from scraped knees or something simple. Something that an ice-pop & a kiss would cure. If only it were that simple.

I'm really fine - I'll wash my face and go and be fine. I'm just having a moment. It'll pass - I let it out. More later. xoxojw