I have had to endure Chemo and funny looks and losing my hair and eyelashes. I had to explain that to my daughter. I had to stop nursing my baby sooner than I wanted to. My families move to the northeast was overshadowed by this stupid cancer. So next week I will be walking in the Relay for Life here in Simsbury. I have a team that raised over $3,000 for cancer research.
It's been a while since I was actively fighting cancer. I finished my radiation, my final treatments, back in November. Since then I have only had follow-up visits to monitor my health and a few images taken of the surgical site, a blood test; you get the idea. This week I got to add to my list of specialists a Neurologist who I saw for my migraine headaches (most likely brought on by my drop in estrogen levels each month). I hadn't had my refelxes tested last year so that was new. I have good reflexes. And as the doctor told me that he wanted me to have an MRI of my brain to rule out anything bigger than a menstrual migraine, he was trying to ease the anxiety he expected me to have about needing to have my brain looked at. I wasn't anxious.
Is that normal? A 36 year old is told that she needs to have her brain looked at to rule out a brain tumor and isn't nervous. It's weird. I don't know that I'd categorize it as brave or confident or maybe even a little defeatist or fatalist. Because I can either worry or not. I can obsess about it or not. It's there or it's not. So, would I have been more shaken about an MRI if I hadn't gone through cancer and the battery of tests, treatments and procedures that I endured? Interesting question, huh?
On the other had, what's the big deal? It's just a test. While the doctor was assuring me that my exam seemed normal and he didn't expect there to be any "mets"(Yep; metastasized cancer in my brain) I sat there smiling. I was just happy to have a remedy in hand for my next migraine so that I wouldn't lose a day to a nasty headache. Big deal. Dr. Heerdt said I was cancer free back in August. So next week I have the MRI and no news will be good news and I'll see him again in November for yet another follow-up on my schedule. I may need a blackberry to keep up with my medical appointments.
On Friday at 6 I'll be doing the survivor lap at the start of the Relay event. The event runs overnight until 10am the next day. I'll post photos of my team and entries about the event. Until then, stay healthy; no heating up food or drink in plastic in the microwave!
1 comment:
jenn--
please forgive me for being a slacker when it comes to posting on your blog. i have been reading it!
per our hilarious conversations, which require i keep a box of depends within quick reach of the phone, my purpose is to reassure you that you have weathered this storm brilliantly. i am so proud of you not to mention outright awe.
you and your experience reminds me of a story sir ken robinson imparted during his 19+ minute presentation at TED positing that educating a persons creativity is just as crucial to human development as literacy.
the children who started school in 2006, will be retiring in 2065. we have no clue what the next 5 years will look like, yet, our methods of education are meant to educate them for this unfathomable future.
there was a little girl, aged 6, in class who wasn't paying attention until it was time for the drawing lesson.
the teacher was fascinated. she went over and asked, 'what are you drawing?'
she replied, 'i'm drawing a picture of god.'
'but nobody knows what god looks like,' said the teacher.
'they will in a minute,' replied the plucky designer-to-be.
the time is drawing nigh for you to summon forth all of your innate creativity while closing this chapter from the book of your life.
“A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. If the future of all human civilization depended on me,
What would I do?
How would I be?”
-- Buckminster Fuller
For every serious challenge facing the world, there is someone with a big idea. That big idea needs to be nurtured. It needs to be explored and analyzed in order to bring it to life. And design is at the core of that innovation.
Our inherent human ingenuity combined with technology gives the innovators the ability to see how their ideas perform and behave. To experience it before it is real.
There isn’t a problem in the world that a great designer cannot solve.
you are an amazing innovator of design. i lQQk forward to the next chapter.
with gratitude and love,
~ c
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