A Better Take on Reconstruction

Last year I had to talk to a re constructive breast surgeon because there was a distinct possibility that I would have a mastectomy. It was one of the most humiliating and horrifying things about the whole breast cancer experience. I had seen a well-respected surgeon. He was a kind doctor. In an effort to reassure me about the outcome of my potential re constructive surgery, he directed Kevin and I to look over a "brag book" of other patients. It was less about bragging and more about setting appropriate expectations. Additionally, Kevin and I sat together and watched a pretty horrifying DVD about breast surgeries and reconstruction provided by the Partnership for Breast Care here in Hartford. Both of those items fortified our decision to avoid a mastectomy for as long as possible.

It is a tremendous understatement to say that we were disappointed with the "progress" of breast surgeries. I vividly recall being aghast at the results that patients and doctors found not just acceptable but "good". It was disgraceful in my mind. With so much money and research, that a woman be left with huge scars was appalling to me. It was not pretty. (I know that sounds vain, but think about seeing such scarring every time you dress or shower or glance at yourself) And, it was a distinct possibility for me to have that surgery. I went to multiple appointments to discuss my options and even scheduled the surgery. I considered a lot of things; implants or not, saline or silicon, tattooed or rebuilt nipples. I had to stand in front of the surgeon (Kevin was with me) and let him grab my flabby belly to determine how much breast he could make out of that. One or two? B-cup or C-cup? What size cup was I anyway? C or D? But my bras say something different. And it was humiliating. It was frightening.

Did it make us more resolved to get that second opinion? No question. But I knew of other young women who would endure the reconstruction and the mastectomy surgeries. I felt lucky - maybe I had to go through chemo, but at least I had my breasts. And to my surprise, the other women thought, 'at least I didn't have to endure chemo and I got new breasts'. Perspective is everything.

Why am I revisiting that scary chapter? I saw a headline on the Internet today "Hoda Kotb: Why I went public with Cancer Battle", so I clicked. 'This is old news' I thought. And then there's this little link at the bottom right side of the page for a slide-show. I clicked. I am bracing myself for horrible images. That's not what I saw.

The slide-show is made up of photos of a young breast cancer veteran, diagnosed at 32 and now 34, and her treatment included a double mastectomy due to her family history. (I did have that on my side - no history.) Anyway, the initial image is pretty bad (post mastectomy and pre-reconstruction), but not as bad as I remember seeing in the book or DVD. I was surprised to see that her results actually looked great. Her new breasts are truly impressive. It just made me feel a great deal of relief for other women going through that surgery or recently diagnosed women. That they have an option that isn't so disfiguring. It's not appalling. I wonder if my perception at the time was skewed (ya' think?) or if great strides HAVE been made. I hope for both. In any case, I am hopeful that the women I know got some good looking "girls" and they feel whole and beautiful as they are.

I've not had the nerve or the opportunity to look at their results, though the 2 women I am thinking of would surely let me see their "new girls". They are happy, healthy and beautiful veterans of breast cancer and all of our stories are unique. That was one of the bigger lessons that I walked away with. It isn't that there is a 'right' way that just IS the best treatment. Like many things, breast cancer treatment is not 'one size fits all'.