This Blog

Part of this experience has been balancing or realizing all the different parts of me that there are. I'm a Mom; I think that always comes first. And also a wife, daughter, friend, artist, designer… I mean, any of us can come up with a laundry list of labels to affix to ourselves. But I had to add cancer patient and cancer survivor or veteran. I've called myself a chemo-doula, a breast cancer veteran, that girls with cancer. Most often what I want to do is not broadcast cancer but somehow not ignore it. Maybe there's a reverence that I feel I should attach to my cancer. Though at the same time, I poke fun at it and myself.

On Friday a sales clerk remarked about my hair; ' it suits you perfectly'. The sarcastic b*$@ch in me thought "You've never laid eyes on me before this moment. What makes you think you know?" and (graciously) that sweet side smiled and replied "Thanks". She went on to tell me that she always has kept her hair long and would never be "that brave". I said "I'm not this brave". And I don't think it necessary to delve into my medical history in the hardware store to a perfect stranger so I left it at that.

1. Shouldn't we all just leave it at "you're haircut is cute/pretty" whatever?
2. How much info is "TMI" when it comes to my health?

What's the etiquette for:

1. letting people know about having had cancer
2. warning/offering a public service announcement
3. educating other women
4. offering compassion to strangers

At school, the grocery store, the mall, people comment freely about my hair being short/curly and gray. I personally think that unless you are my friend, stop at the compliment. That way you stop short of sticking your foot in it. Don't let me know that you can't stand your own gray hair. That doesn't sound so flattering. And don't say you aren't so brave to have a short hair style. Not so much of a compliment, really. If you want to say that the curly hair is cute, by all means do so. But anything short of that is sort of like labeling a look "interesting" or saying that a blind date has a "great personality".

So then there's what I feel I need to do. This blog - it's becoming irrelevant because of the chemo and cancer connection that I don't feel so connected to at present. Maybe it's just a bit over-due for a little image update. "imsurvivingthis" can apply to all parts of me and my life. But think it may be time to usher out the cancer factor in my blog and move on. There's so much more going on every day.

Did you know we found a house? See? that has little to do with chemotherapy.