oh-nine

I have to start by saying that I had a nice holiday. My family was together, my kids are happy, Santa came… and he didn't leave any coal. A success by most accounts. But I was ready for the regular routine to start up again. I felt ready for the New Year and my New Habits to get started.

Not one for resolutions because that would require some commitment on my part, I quietly contemplate the things that I want to change each new year. Yeah, the basics are represented; exercise, weight loss, staying in touch with friends and family better. Also these are professional goals (beyond being Mommy) and personal growth things, being a better Mom, wife, friend, daughter, designer, housekeeper, brownie leader… I have a lot of room for improvement.

What about this blog? Is it time to put it to bed? Stealing from another member in the "C" club, my 2 year Cancerversary is just a few months away. By his method I may be able to celebrate a Chemo-versary, and Surgery-versary as well. That whole radiation segment I'd rather just celebrate as the "End of an Era". This blog was the way that I kept friends and family informed. I could tell them what I was feeling, what I was going through, show them how clearly the chemo worked in MRI imagery (see Aug 03, 2007)- and they could read it when they were in the mood, and I didn't feel like I had to retell the same details on a constant loop. It served me well.

My new years wish for my blog is that I can find a topic to follow and really provide some actual information. I have all these anecdotal reasons for why I had cancer, why I have lymphedema, if my deodorant matters, why to get a 2nd opinion. I have really strong feelings about some of this and I feel compelled to tell you. How boring will it be if all I talk about is cancer? How insane is it not to share what I know? So I think I found my balance. I think I can share my little tidbits of insight without force-feeding them to my peeps.

Sadly I have a newly diagnosed family member - different cancer - and I knew it would happen at some point; though I'm not sure that I expected it before my 2nd Cancer-versary, but I expected it eventually. It's early, slow-growing and the prognosis is quite good. That said, it remains scary and uncertain and it seems condescending for me to even suggest that it's "less of an ordeal" than my experience was.

I just want what I went through to make a difference for somebody, sometime. Is that too much to ask for?