Open House at School

Go figure, I was the only Mom wearing a bandanna on her head. Shocker.

It was the same old thing - I sort of forget that I am not exactly 'normal' and then I am talking to someone who isn't follicle challenged as if nothing is unusual. To me, I'm growing a lot of hair right now. I even have sideburns, stubby lashes and the starting of eyebrows - come on - and the cute shoes. To them, I look like cancer patient maybe, or what? They can't venture a guess. I don't think of myself that way. It's like the movie The Matrix: each person has a mental image of themselves and that's how they appear in the Matrix (which is the world as we know it - it's a long story). In my mind I'm just another Mom at the open house or wherever, with cute hair and cute shoes. Last night I flew solo as Kevin had a business dinner. When I'm out alone, I am more conscious of how I look to others. Just me and my cute shoes (I have the blisters to prove it).

When we introduced ourselves to the group I didn't think it was necessary or appropriate to say anything about my status. The people who need to know do. Jacqueline's teacher seems wonderful and I had let her know in advance of the school year starting that I was getting through breast cancer treatment. I wanted her to know in case Jacqueline ever showed any signs of stress or for when she draws her Mom with no hair and big earrings. That Mr. Clean look might raise some eyebrows if they didn't know the truth.

It's not a fashion statement, although it sometimes seems to be. My wig sits on the stand in my room. I like it, but I know it's fake & I feel fake in it (and it's not comfortable in the heat). Maybe the bandannas are a fashion statement. When I wore bandannas as a teenager Guns-n-Roses and big hair were in style. This past summer at Kismet I saw more than a couple people sporting bandannas - I wasn't that unique in my fashion statement except for the lack of hair (and maybe not even that in all cases).