Before We Drive off the Cliffs

Like Thelma and Louise did, we girls have to help each other. I was about ready to drive off a cliff alone on Friday until I decided to drive to Long Island. Saturday morning after the regular breakfast bonanza Chez Webb, I jumped in the Mustang and headed to NY. My new iPod Shuffle chock full of some of my old-time favorites, the stick shift, no car-seats in the back; I felt pretty free. Don't get me wrong. Mommy-hood is great, I was just well beyond the time for a break. I've failed lately to take little breaks for yoga or a pedicure and then, before I actually imploded, I had to get away.

So two things that made a HUGE difference for me: 1) listening to "my songs". Not the radio, not the Ralph's World CD or Disney books on tape. I listened to some Stones, Sheryl Crow, Beastie Boys, Van Morrison, Lenny Kravitz, Blondie, Coldplay, Dave Matthews. And I sang aloud all the way. If I had to guess I made more than one other person on the road laugh out loud at my antics. 2) My schedule was mine. I collected my good friend Molly, and we had lunch, we talked, we had a beer, we shopped. It was the girl friend therapy that I was way overdue for. I was not worried about naps, diapers, camp, dinner. I just went. When I returned Molly safely to her husband and children (Thanks guys, for sharing that day)I went on to my folks house.

My Dad and I shared a dinner from Sundried Tomatoes (local Italian joint) and talked and hung out a bit. My Mom was traipsing with her friends around Manhattan and got in late but we stayed up and talked for a while, too. It was an easy night. Next day I got up and drove home and I was missing the kids and feeling a little like myself.

The point is that I shouldn't have waited until I was cranky and over-wrought. I should gone out to yoga or used my facial gift certificate or had a simple girls night sooner. I'm turning that leaf. I'm going to put myself in the top 3 on the priority list around here. I don't want to harbor resentment, or be a lousy role model, or be cranky. I want to be fun and silly and caring and smart. I think I have that in here somewhere at the bottom of my purse, beneath the cheerio crumbs, receipts and baby wipes.