3, 11, 20 & 38

3. The 3rd anniversary of being cancer free comes on August 23rd. Three years since the surgery at Sloan to remove the remnants of my tumor. I remember it was gone before the surgery but the "lumpectomy" pathology proved that I was clear. Nothing found in my lymph nodes either. I remember that day waiting for the surgery. I remember Dr. Heerdt smiling and happy to tell me that I was CLEAN. Clean.

Losing hair, feeling beyond exhausted, not having eyelashes for heavens sake. It worked. Chemo. It's a cruel savior.

11. Kevin and I will share our 11th anniversary on August 8th. Last year we spent a few days kid-free on the North Fork of Long Island. No plans this year but I hope we'll find our way to enjoying the day.

20. Hauppauge High School Class of 1989 is celebrating the 20th reunion of our graduation this Saturday night. I've been sentimental and snarky about the reunion. In the end, I am looking forward to seeing my close friends and some that were so close then but have lost touch since. It's been fun seeing many familiar faces on facebook and knowing we all grew up and built lives since those high school years.

38. On Sunday I will gleefully celebrate my 38th birthday. I wasn't too hung up about turning 30 and I think 35 hit a little harder than I expected, but now that I had a glimpse at maybe not having another birthday, I'm happy about 38. I'll be happy about 40, 50, 60 and 95, as well. Sometimes overhearing the casual griping about getting older is a trigger for me. I understand it. But wouldn't you all rather have gray hairs than none at all? I try to not take everything so seriously and I made those comments - the perspective I've gained just sits right under the surface and I don't think that way about it. I want to be old. It's part of the ride.

I'm good with 38. I'll be with my family and I'm glad my friends will be together on my birthday weekend. That doesn't happen very often anymore. We live all over the place.

I plan to get to Robert Moses on Sunday and maybe Monday, too. The weather is looking good. Time to buy a few body boards for the kids and I to play with in the surf. After all it is summertime and I have the pleasure of being off with the kids. Why not be one right beside them? Ice-cream before lunch and playing in the waves is a great remedy for anything that ails us.


Maybe there's a winning lottery ticket somewhere in those numbers. Each one so significant.