Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The End.

The first month of 2011 has been a little all-over-the-place.
What can any of us say about the holidays, really? If you're at all like me, but about Dec. 26th, part of you is ready for the tree to be down and out. The other part says 'just enjoy sitting by the fire admiring the pretty lights'. Suffice it to say that I enjoy the holidays but they are stressful.

Coming off the holidays is as smooth as re-entry into the atmosphere. Kids go back to school (in theory), things get cleaned up, there is hope that I will be more diligent about the house, my diet, getting it together in general.  A magical switch will be flipped and I will be transformed.  Right.

This year, "Moving Beyond Chemo Chic" seems out of place to me. I am no longer fully consumed with all things relating to my cancer or my health. I am not pre-occupied with my appointment schedule, my test results, my healing. I am healed.  I wasn't certain I'd ever get to the point where having had cancer was NOT a defining element of my day-to-day. Somehow, without really noticing, it seems I have arrived at this point of having put it aside a little more; it's in a box marked "the past".  I got through the re-entry from cancer to "normal" life.

The 4 years we've been here and since my diagnosis, have been like the years before; good and bad, great and horrifying, but to a greater degree.  The hard times were really hard. The happy times were truly cherished.  What I want to do now is focus on the great and the good, learn from the rest and know that we got through it and I know I am stronger and wiser for it.  I want to build more "wonderful" into my daily schedule. Varying degrees of wonderful perhaps, but very little of anything less than wonderful.

I think this is where this blog needs to end. I think that I have grown into a new role where the focus is shifted. This time now is me getting ready for a big birthday this summer. Getting ready for a move back to the South. This is me taking the first step from what I dreamed would be the "best thing ever", moving to CT, and taking another direction.  I am richer now in friends and wiser in experiences.   Some things will change, but many things, the things that matter most, will remain constant.

Raise a glass to 2011.  Here's to us all. Here's to love. Prost!

The End.

1 comment:

Melissa823 said...

What a happy ending to your blog. May you be blessed with continued health. I've enjoyed watching you get and stay well ever since your scary diagnosis from Cafe Mom. Stay well.