Even Cancer is Competitive - WTF

Before I had cancer I would sometimes roll my eyes at all the walks and 3-days and runs to "race for a cure". It seemed a little unlikely to me that these things would "cure" cancer. I'd make contributions. I'd feel guilty if I didn't. I had Breast Cancer License plates and stamps. What else could I do? Weren't there people working on that?

Then I was diagnosed. At the oncology office I saw a table dripping with information, pamphlets, binders, stickers, bracelets, buttons - you name it. Besides the American Cancer Society and The Komen organizations there were a slew of others. All the bright yellow stuff for Lance Armstrong's foundation and some that I'd not heard about including i[2]y.

I stuffed my "chemo bag" with all this stuff. Paper - lots of paper. And I thought about how much these things must cost to produce & distribute. How much duplication is there? I'd seen this stuff at each hospital, at the surgeons office, at radiation. It was everywhere. All these ORGs trying to get my attention and fight cancer better than the other guys.

When I finished radiation and my treatment was over I needed to DO something. I needed to keep fighting in some way. What I found was a new friend that was involved in Relay For Life in Simsbury. I decided to form a team and do Relay. I did feel like I was doing something. At the same time, friends walked in other events including the Avon 3-Day (thanks Lalas). We all raised money. My friends and family and acquaintances dug deep and I felt a sense of accomplishment. I raised thousands for the American Cancer Society. They are the good guys, right?

I had not even questioned them. And I am happy to say that what I have found is that they do offer a lot of programs (some I've gotten to utilize) and they spend $.82 of every dollar on the programs and research that they support. They have funded over 40 Nobel Prize winners. They run long term research discovering links between lifestyle and cancer cases (including smoking and obesity being linked to cancer).
So I think that the ACS has probably done more good for the cause of fighting cancer than bad. Are there instances when things could be done differently? Better? Maybe. We need to be the most efficient and intelligent we can be in this search for the cause and the cure. Cancer is horrible and far too prevalent. But do we need to be so competitive?

Here's the thing: I read about cancer every day from multiple sources and I am getting a little bit tired of the "us v. them" factor. Even here in my small town, there's this static. Really, are you going to begrudge the neighboring town because it might take away from "Your Relay" if they get more attention? Are you going to be petty about another volunteer? Isn't the ultimate goal to raise funds for the ACS and FIGHT BACK?

Cancer doesn't belong to any one. I chose to do Relay because it supported the larger cause of Cancer not the specific cause of Breast Cancer. Yes, I had breast cancer but there are many others affected by various other cancers. I want it ALL to go away.

I want it to go away for children AND old people. I wish that no 35 yr old new mom has to stop nursing her baby to start chemo like I did. I wish no one would lose a grandparent. And I cannot even fathom the pain of parents whose children have cancer.

Recently I attended a Young Adults Cancer event (as one the oldest particpants diagnosed at 35!) and I felt intensely guilty, grateful and sad. Here were these very young people who'd had cancer as children or teens. They didn't have "life before cancer". They weren't married. They weren't parents. And, they may never get those opportunities. I was crushed. There I was sitting there next to a bilateral mastectomy at 28 and a lymphoma patient at 27 with the open-heart-surgery chasers plus a recurrence in the years since. I have my babies and my life (and my breasts!), and look at them! They are OK, happy, they feel lucky and mad and scared and grateful just like I do. Did I belong there?

So yes, I get a little Pissed Off when I hear one cancer fighting individual or organization blasting another. If you are one of those people who gives up your weekend or your career or anything in-between to fight cancer, then I thank you. And I wish that the energy spent competing to be the "Biggest & Best Cancer Fighter" didn't come at the cost of pitting groups against one another.
We do what we can. You know cancer world, there ARE other diseases. There are people suffering and struggling in a million ways, big and small. Fight your fights against the real enemy. Not one another.