Let the pity party … close down.

You certainly gain some perspective when you go through cancer. But that doesn't preclude me from the occasional petty reactions to everyday events. Like when my relay team is just 9 people, 4 of them residing under my roof and really without free will on whether or not to participate.

Recently I've had to talk myself down from freaking out over being excluded, cried about a lack of attention and even stomped my feet about PTO communications. Really.

Can I say that the little stuff doesn't matter? Sure. And I mean it. I have my kids, my family, and the scars to prove I survived. I have a family, friends, and a nice home. Could it have been far worse? Of course; but it could be even better going forward. The little stuff is REAL life. It isn't all about appreciating the big picture for any of us, is it?

The hard part is that I cannot escape from it. Some days I am OK and I don't dwell. Some days I slip back into the gloom and the fear of it all. Do I feel a bit immature? yup. But it's the way I feel. I wish I could rise above the petty crap everyday but I don't. I wish we all could honestly.

Moving on.